In case you’ve been living under a rock, there’s been some interesting happenings over the past few days:
– Philae, the European Space Agency’s lander launched from the Rosetta Space Probe, safely landed on a comet, the first time this has been achieved;
– The G-20 Economic Conference is happening this weekend in Brisbane, Australia;
– Oil has dropped to under $80/barrel for the first time since 2010;
– a protoplanetary disk has been discovered around the star HL Tauri;
– Low levels of radiation from the 2011 Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Disaster have been discovered off the waters of California.
Any one of these things should, by its own merits, be able to carry a headline (well, maybe not the protoplanetary disk one, but that’s still pretty cool). And I was really happy to see that they were news.
But not the top story. Oh, no. There’s no way these would be the top story.
Not when Kim Kardashian has gone full-frontal for Paper Magazine!!
Seriously? Seriously? Some of the most amazing things are happening – as we speak! They’re happening AS. WE. SPEAK! – and the lead-off story is that that useless talking bag of meat took off her clothes?
Who cares? Really – if anyone is reading this, who cares? And I’m not saying that in an exasperated tone, I am legitimately and some what angrily asking – who cares about her? What makes her so famous? She was friends with Paris Hilton? Whoop-de-doo. She had an E! show with the rest of her litter? So what? What has she done, apart from be stepdaughter to Bruce Jenner (as an aside, Bruce, what in the blue hell happened to you, man?!?) and be married to Chris Humphries for 72 days, which is shorter than
– how long Sea Monkeys live (658 days)
– the amount of time the Macarena spent at number one (98 days)
– how long Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock were married (150 days, and if your marriage is shorter than theirs by half … damn)
– how long Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were engaged (85 days).
So someone, please, tell me what the fuck this chick has done to give nearly everyone with a keyboard and a Twitter account heart palpatations because she showed off her funbags, because we all know that’s the first time anyone’s done that on the Internet. It’s not even the first time SHE’s gone nude! She had a sex tape released!! She posed for Playboy – so why, oh why, are we all in a tizzy because she got nude AGAIN? Can we just stop, just friggin’ stop, with the false-celebrity worship that she and her family have generated for themselves?
The only silver lining I can see out of giving this wretched specimen of humanity any more publicity is that maybe – just maybe – her posing nude again means she’s getting a bit desperate for more publicity, which would imply that her star is finally starting to fade. To me, that can’t come fast enough.